Everything's changing, but somehow nothing is new. Leaves are falling, seasons are changing, people moving, the branches look bare. My heart feels bare. People are getting married, born, dying, divorced. How was I to ever know that my parents would fall in that last category? That I would become a statistic, that I would now have 2 of everything. 2 birthdays, and 2 Christmases, and 2 houses. and 2 separate families somehow. And a million pieces of my heart, tattered and thrown around, left in different places. If I went around gathering those pieces all together I don't think that I would ever be able to make them fit together just like they were, before I knew brokenness or what "I have to talk to my lawyer about who will pay for your health insurance" meant. Tides roll in and they change direction. My mind tells me not to forget Jesus, that He is always here with me. And all of me longs for His presence. I feel caught in between the riptide, pulled into the undertow...